When on tour, your aren't magically transported from one venue or one city to the next. There is travel time. Also, no matter how efficient the schedulers can be there are a million reasons that there could be great distances between one stage you are playing and the next. This leads to: day stops. Drivers of tour buses(or the trucks carrying your equipment) are limited by how far they can travel in a day. They have to stop to rest, which I am grateful for. Who wants a tired driver conveying them? So, if there are long distances between cities, they have to stop part way. For example, when traveling from Tupelo, MS to El Paso, TX, one might stop at Fort Worth, TX for the day(which reminds you how vast Texas is). Now every tour is a little different, so I can only attest to my experience with my company. When we would have a day stop, it would most often occur on a Monday, after a weekend of shows. We would drive part way overnight to the next city, then, the drivers would all stop to get some sleep. Meanwhile, each bus would have access to a hotel room for the day to get cleaned up. Buses can hold up to twelve people, but the number actually living on them can fluctuate. It is up to the people on the bus to share the room for the day. Twelve people can't stay in one room all day though, can they? No! Especially after working a crazy schedule together all weekend, absolutely not. So what do you do? After grabbing a shower and passing the room key off to whomever is next in line, there are plenty of options for what to do on a day off. Some people like to take the opportunity to sleep in, read or catch up on tv shows in their bunk, utilize the hotel gym, or, my personal favorite, explore the town. You never know where you will be on a day stop and you know that it will only be for, you got it, one day, so you might as well go exploring. Many take this opportunity to walk around and explore area shops, sites, and restaurants. You may want to stock up your snack and beverage stash for the next week. An option I always enjoyed was to take advantage of the fact that we were off on a Monday and have a nice relaxing meal out(Yes, this was during the time when T.G.I. Fridays was doing endless apps. Bring your iPad to play Monopoly, a couple of tour mates, and order a drink or two for a relaxing afternoon.). I have always appreciated getting into food and entertainment venues when there is no one else there and Mondays are one of the best days to do this. No waiting! Day stops are great because you don't have your own hotel room to be comfy and complacent in so you are more likely to explore. If you know where you will be ahead of time and have a few minutes to research activities in the area of you stop, this can be a great money saver too. The best deals are almost always during the week. On a day stop, you could be sightseeing in Seattle, Good Willing in Glendale, beer tasting in Biloxi, or rock climbing in Rutherford. (Pics or it didn't happen. ;) ) Just remember, Cinderella, you have a curfew.
Bus call time is just before the drivers have to get on the road for the night. It is usually between 10pm and midnight, but again, can fluctuate. Make sure you are on the bus by then because if you miss it, you have to find your own way to the next city. Not a cheap mistake to make. So keep one eye on the clock and the other on a fun-filled day. Happy exploring!
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![]() When you think of birth and babies, breastfeeding seems like it comes naturally, but it is not always as easy as you would think. My two pregnancies were as different as can be, like ice and fire. The first was a vaginal delivery after almost 60 hours of labor at 40 weeks and one day with a 10lb 14oz girl. The second was an emergency c-section at 25 weeks and one day where we lost one daughter (1lb 15oz) and our second daughter (1lb 8oz) was headed for a long stay in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). I have degrees in science, but for some reason it never occurred to me that the milk doesn't necessarily just flow. The medical staff was nervous that my first might be losing weight and had an infection from an extended labor, so she was whisked away to the NICU and I was left with a pump to try and get the milk flowing. I felt very lucky that while I "primed the pumps," my daughter was able to consume donated milk, and it was a good thing! That big baby was gulping down four ounces at a feeding! She was born on a Saturday and it took me pumping eight times a day for fifteen minutes at a time, four days (which felt like a lifetime) before I finally produced my first drops of milk. After that, we still had a few days before she would latch. Finally, after her round of antibiotics, she was released to go home and though the week had seemed like a struggle, I felt confident that I would be able to breastfeed her successfully. I fed her eight times a day til she started skipping one night feeding and would pump a couple times a day so that I would have a supply for a few times that I knew I would have to be away and for when I went back to work. I pumped enough to use breast milk in her baby cereal for beyond the first year and she finally had her last latch (a bittersweet moment) at just over two years and three months. After struggles the first time, I had done research about how to best accomplish breastfeeding with twins. Unfortunately, the struggle here was going to be much more emotionally, physically, and mentally intense than I could have anticipated. Due to medical complications, it was two month before I could even try nonnutritive breastfeeding. This means you pump all the milk out of your breasts and just attempt to get the baby to latch for practice. On this date, Baby B was 2lbs 8oz. Can you imagine the difference in this minute miracle and her sizable sister? Then, we worked our way to actually attempting breastfeeding. It's natural. It should come easy. Right? Not so much. It takes a lot of energy and coordination to breastfeed, which our preemie just didn't have. When the baby is breastfeeding, it also means that the milk can't be fortified with extra calories, vitamins, and supplements. Today, we are at just over six months of chronological age, Baby B is 8lbs 2oz, and she successfully latches and transfers(actually gets milk to flow and consumes it) every morning. Until we get on the growth curve, it is unwise to breastfeed more than once or twice a day. Baby just needs all those extras that she can get from adding to the breast milk and we save her a few calories by letting her bottle-feed. I am still hopeful that we will reach a point where we can spend more mealtimes bonding, but for now it's the pump for me. ![]() Were you excited or disappointed to see a substitute teacher when you were in school? Did you think you were going to get away with things, have less work, or be bored by busy work? Maybe you had no idea what to expect because it was a random person that you'd never seen before. Perhaps you were thrilled to see that someone you knew was taking charge for the day. All this may have gone through your head, but did you ever consider becoming a sub (Yes, the teacher, not the sandwich.)? Substitute teaching has many pros and cons. Depending on your situation (Eh hmm, you moms trying to have it all), it could be a great option to help support your family. Let's take a deeper dive.
Think you have what it takes to sub? Check out your state's Department of Education and contact your local school districts. Schools are in need of great subs and often will help you navigate the process. Make sure schools know you are available, be prepared to walk into anything from seven fully prepped teaching periods to a day of study halls(bring a book), and if you are willing to sub for P.E., be sure to have a whistle!
![]() "Yes, just tell me," I repeated. "Are you sure? We could email it or put it in a sealed envelope to have picked up or mail it to you." "Just tell me." "It's girls!" the nurse reported cheerfully. This was the last bit she revealed after our genetics testing came back. All normal and identical twin girls! How exciting! I had been doing my research and I knew we weren't out of the woods yet, but oh what a relief! I was thrilled to be able to call my husband who was ecstatic at the news and wanted to know when we could tell people. At about eight weeks we had told our parents the good news and we were bursting to tell about the twins as soon as we got out of our ultrasound appointment, but something was keeping me from making a formal announcement. I think most people realize that with any multiple pregnancy there are added risks, but until I was faced with our special circumstances, I had no idea how many issues there could be. As a Girl Scout from kindergarten to high school graduation, I abide by the motto "be prepared" and as an avid reader (Well, I was before kids anyway.) and learner, I was in full research mode. What could complications be? What could we do to head them off? What were signs? Two particular issue caught my eye. Both the complications that were extremely worrisome had to do with the circulatory system, which we were already extra contentious of because of daddy's bifurcated valve and his father's life saving heart transplant (Yay, 10 years and counting! Check out organ donor.gov). The first condition happens when one twin has a fully formed heart, but the other does not. This means as soon as they are born, the heartless twin passes and sometimes the other twin also cannot survive because of the stress of supporting them both in the womb. I knew when we got to the anatomy scan, this was something we could rule out. The second complication is also something that often happens after sibling are born: they do not share well. In this case, the placenta is unevenly divided and the twins do not share the blood supply equally. This can result in the loss of one or both twins. Armed with this information, I made an extensive list of questions for our next doctor's appointment which thankfully was only a month away. We got our scan and I requested confirmation of beating hearts in both girls and the patient tech walked me through where all the chambers were forming in our perfectly on track girls. Ahh, one disaster averted. Next, all my questions...Most importantly, how do we tell if the girls aren't sharing blood properly, which is technically called Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome? My doctor didn't seem worried at all and explained that usually an excess of fluid collects around one of the twins (which I was assured they were carefully monitoring at each appointment). When they notice this is happening, there is a laser procedure that can reallocate the blood vessels in the placenta and correct the issue. I still wasn't satisfied. "So this isn't something that can happen all of a sudden? You would see signs?" I inquired. The doctor assured me that this was true and scheduled my next appointment a month out, right after the Christmas/New Years holiday. My husband was excited and wanted to tell everyone, but something was holding me back. Even my father had said, "Well, the more people who know, the more can pray for them." True, but I just thought so many things could still go wrong and it was still so early that I didn't want people to get so excited and end up with bad news. Finally, I compromised. I thought maybe I could announce it in steps. On New Year's Eve, which would be just after 24 weeks and the girls would be considered viable, I could announce the pregnancy. It was getting a little difficult to conceal after all. Then, I could wait a week and announce that I was having a girl. Finally, I could wait one more week to announce that we would be welcoming twins, the most exciting part of our news. I looked up a multitude of twin announcement possibilities, thought about doing a pregnancy photoshoot (I hadn't with my first.), and even got a little excited about doing the plaster cast belly keepsake that I had received in a mommy-to-be trimester shipment (TheStorkBag.com). My husband said upon hearing of the double residency that had taken up in my belly, I went completely white. Now, I am already pretty pale, so there was probably some translucence happening. The nurses chose the next moment to take my blood pressure... The doctor let me know that multiples automatically qualified this as a high risk pregnancy. Since I am no spring chicken (more like an early autumn hen), I had already had some concerns about my age at which time the doctor informed my that I was an elderly multigravida. Doesn't that sound mystical? Ahh yes, the elderly multigravida can only be summoned by mixing ground chicken bones and groundhog saliva in a virgin glen under the light of a waxing moon. It just means it's at least your second pregnancy and your due date is after your thirty-fifth birthday. Boring and couldn't they have thought of a nicer way to say that? The doctor let me know that they would confirm the type of twins, but they believed they were identical with separate sacs, but sharing a placenta, otherwise known as monochorionic diamniotic twins. Due to some uncommon complications that can occur, my practitioner said that she usually delivered these types of twins by 34 weeks gestation. She sent me for some tests and blood work to rule out a few genetic issues and off she went. Meanwhile, what was I thinking... 34 weeks? Does that mean it will have to be a scheduled c-section? Could they induce? Do they both have to be head down? I only have four place settings for my everyday dishes. How is a family of five going to work? When we visit my husband's parents, they won't be able to get us from the airport. Will we rent a car or will they have to take two? How do you breastfeed twins? I'll never sleep again. I need to start designing a new house (Our current one, I specifically designed to have two children's rooms with the same dimensions.). If they come early, what if they are born on our oldest daughter's birthday? You know, that happened in Full House. Becky's twins came early right in the middle of Michelle's Flintstone-themed birthday party. I don't want her to have to share a birthday. You know my first child was 10lbs 14oz. I bet these will just slide out. We aren't going to have any time after they are born, so hubby better schedule his vasectomy now. Is your head spinning? Mine definitely was and I was off to do some research... Random Side Note: As a child, one of my favorite things to do was get graph paper from my mom and draw out house plans. Priorities were a little different then. Ironically, I planned for two sets of twins(a set of girls and set of boys, probably because my best friends at the time were twins), having a room just for the many cats I thought I'd have on each of three floors with their own stairwell, and an indoor pool. A girl can dream. ;)
![]() Do you have a something that cheers you up when you are down? A favorite movie, an activity, or even a food that can lift your spirits no matter what lemon curveballs life may be raining down on you? When I need a little extra pep, I turn to the Sandals' website (sandals.com). It may seem odd, but I love snooping through the sales and stacking discounts to try to get the best rates or perusing the sample menus and fantasizing about ordering French onion soup, surf and turf, sashimi, and the decadent chocolate mousse bites (excuse me as I clean the drool off of my keyboard). My husband just doesn't get why I would enjoy such a silly thing. Well, I love saving money, traveling, food, and, of course, what most every mom craves despite the nagging guilt, the peace, quiet, and time to myself. Ahh to finish a meal out without having to play "Baby Shark" for the billionth time, constantly retrieve crayons from the floor, and actually be able to use both hands to eat! I know this predicament is of my own creation, because ladies and gentlemen, my name is Rayna and I am an overprotective mom. I now have a four year old and a six month old and I do not let anyone, except family, babysit. I know that this means that I am outrageously lucky to have such a supportive family that I have been able to work in various capacities and earn two Master's of Arts in education in the last four years. I am so grateful that my mother, father, and grandmother(the eighty year old trooper who runs on coffee and getting her 10,000 steps a day in and handles the majority of the baby watching duties) have the time and resources to assist me that I feel beyond guilty asking for assistance if I am not specifically out working or at an appointment. They already do so much for me that I don't feel that I can ask them to watch the kids so I can go have fun. In typical we-can-have-it-all style, I also hate to miss anything. I want to make sure my girls remember that I was always there for them. Do you remember anything from preschool and before? Me either, but I hate to chance it. This means I can count on one hand the times hubby and I have been able to go out and half of those were on visits out to see his parents (thank you!). All this means, when I think of Sandals, the adults only, couples resort, where "Love is All You Need," for some reason, I feel a little less guilty because the kids aren't allowed to come. It also makes me feel better when other couples we meet tell us that they wish they would have taken the time to make special trips together much earlier. I can derive years of joy from planning and replanning these trips, and sometimes, like with recent events of the pandemic and the birth of my youngest, I have had to! I tell my husband, I love to dream of seven dinners in a row that I get to take my time and finish in peace. I envision the books that I am going to read on the beach (maybe Harry Potter, Down the Rabbit Hole, or Dragon Riders of Pern). I get to imagine the fully-made-up selfies, I can take, because who has time for that from day to day. And the biggest prize of all... drumroll, please...sleeping through the night!!! Come on, when is the last time you got to sleep through the night? Yea, I don't know either, but it's thrilling to dream about. Today, we would have been headed to our fourth trip, but I have been assured that paradise will be waiting for me when the time comes (Do you hear that, Elsa? You leave my islands alone!). Until next time, Sandals! Tonight, I dream of the now open lobster season and having a mouthwatering beef patty on the beach. ![]() Love to work hard, travel extensively, and can run on caffeine and no sleep? Then being a touring theatrical technician may be your dream job. I had the opportunity to work with one company as an Assistant Electrician and Assistant Rigger on a live theatre show. It is an experience I wouldn't trade for anything, but it is not for the feint of heart. While in the U.S. (Excitingly, I did get to travel to other continents with this show, awesome bonus!), this tour was called a Bus-and-Truck Tour. The "normal" schedule looked a little like this: Friday - Panama City, FL: 2 shows Saturday - Jackson, MS: 3 shows Sunday - Tupelo, MS: 2 shows Monday - Day Stop: Fort Worth, TX (I'll describe this in another post.) Tuesday - Day Off in El Paso, TX Wednesday - Day Off in El Paso, TX Thursday - Day Off in El Paso, TX Of course, there can be plenty of variations. You may be in a popular location and have shows in the same spot all weekend. Occasionally, there could be a day off between shows. Once, I even recall five days in a row of shows in four different cities. A work day, say Friday, would run a little like this: 4:30AM - Wake up, shower, get in your gear, pack up everything, check out of your hotel room. 5:30AM - Bus Call: Make sure your luggage is loaded and you are on the bus. 6:00AM - Load in begins at the venue. 8:00AM - Coffee Break (Mandatory in union venues) 8:15AM - Continue Load-In 8:30AM-11:30AM - Breakfast is served. Work with your department head to find the best time to take a break. This could be when your department is done or if you have a lull in work. For example, an audio technician with all his equipment in place might take a break earlier in the day and come back while most of the rest of the crew is at breakfast to set levels. This is dependent on if this is a union house, which will have a mandatory dark time (when no one can work) about five hours after the beginning of load in. 1:59PM - Load in should be completed by this time, unless something has gone terribly awry. 2:00PM - Doors open for guests to start coming into the venue and finding their seats. 3:00PM-4:30PM - First Show of the Day 4:31PM - Reset everything for the next show. 4:32PM-6:00PM - Check with your department head and find time for lunch. 5:00PM - Doors open for guests to start coming into the venue and finding their seats. 6:00PM - Second/Last Show of the Day and also the Load-Out Show (As many props, costumes, and set pieces as possible are packed up and sent toward the trucks as quickly and quietly as possible while the show is going on. And yes, a great crew makes it possible.) 7:30PM - Show ends and breakdown begins backstage while the venue clears. When the last guest is out, the music turns off, the stage lights are doused, and load out goes into full swing. 10:00PM - If we had an efficient day and knowledgable local help, this is when the truck doors are closed, ramps strapped in, and the crew released. 10:01PM-10:30PM - The crew searches the venue for available showers, gets cleaned up, and heads to the buses for a bite to eat and to climb into their bunks. 10:30PM-4:59AM - Get as much sleep as you can while the buses are on the road. 5:00AM - In the next venue, ready to do it all again. You have to learn fast, work hard, be safe, and it helps to have a great attitude, which is very difficult living and working in such close quarters, getting no sleep, and being ever prepared for a last minute change. So grateful to have had the opportunity to meet a plethora of interesting and talented individuals from around the world through this venture. Happy Fourth of July! Today we are also celebrating Baby B’s half birthday, which brings me to another reason I am endeavoring to create the Multifacet Mom blog. My last pregnancy did not go as expected, however, the more I talk about it, the more people relate to my situation. I am hoping the mental work done while completing this writing practice not only hopes to pay tribute to our loss, reach a sort of catharsis within myself, inform people for the future, but also lets anyone in a similar situation know that they are not alone.
Soooo… I always thought that I would have more than one child. For most of my adult life, I assumed this would be two, one girl and one boy. I always hoped it would be in that order because that was my experience and for some odd reason I thought that would make me more comfortable with the situation. I know it is early in the blog, but for those of you that have not caught on…I’m what you call, a “bit “ of a planner. This is in the sense of, since before I had my previous child I had mapped out the best times to conceive and have my children my preferred age apart. I had thought through job options, length of pregnancy, possible disruptions for time to conceive (We never had issue with this one when our minds were set. Thank all that’s good that it was planned.), and what I believed were all the various issues we could come up against. Like I mentioned, I always thought I’d have two children and I believed that the best possible time to conceive the second would be at our fifth anniversary trip to Sandals in Jamaica that we had planned for July 2020. Well, as any plans for 2020 went, ours… did not. I had also thought, “well as long as I have a long term position, we could still handle having a second child.” Did I? No. In the long run, did we still try? Absolutely! I knew I didn’t want to try after age 35 and because my husband had missed so much baby time with our first (due to work travel), I though, “OK, we will try once and if it is meant to be it will.” I can tell you, not to get into the nitty gritty, but we “tried” exactly once. I can tell you the exact location and position, that we tried exactly once… So August 10, 2020, we took the test. Of course, it was positive! I was able to get a position with a local school to help with their distance learners for the year and we weren’t too concerned. This was our second round after all and I had had quite the bout with morning sickness then. I don’t know if my husband was prepared this time though. I was sooo sick. Nothing sounded good. I would occasionally crave Arby’s French Dip sans swiss or Steak’n’Shake Cheese Fries, but I could eat hardly anything else and absolutely nothing spicy. I made my first ultrasound appointment at the beginning of October. Unfortunately, my appointment with Dr. Butler, was rescheduled at the last minute. I had to call back and due to availability at my clinic, I was forced to switch providers. I really didn’t have a preference, since my previous provider had moved between children. That Monday, I left work early, met my husband, and headed for the appointment. The COVID slowdown made it possible for hubby to attend all our baby engagements, which I though was something that he would appreciate being a part of. We went in and of course they ask if you had any issues. I really hadn’t, but I did mention to the ultrasound tech that I felt my “morning sickness,” or constant nausea, was worse this time. Our tech took one look and said, “Oh, of course you are! Twins!” … In other words, I have had many a job, but doesn't the alliteration make it sound so much more fun? I love trying out new opportunities, learning skills, and adding to my resume. Just the other day, I was able to attend a free Virtual Conference to add a new "badge" to my collection. I enjoy working and I am proud to be able to help ease the fiscal burden in my household whenever I can. Having children definitely complicates my mission and I always want to make sure that I am there for them and providing them the time and attention that they need as well, which means that some positions that I have just don't fit my current lifestyle, but I am thrilled to have experienced them. "Why are you sharing this?" Society asks teenagers to pick a career path often before they even have a chance to explore what is out there. I hope by sharing my unorthodox path to pique the interest of anyone looking for a change or just starting out. "But how many different positions could you have possibly tried?" In this case, I am specifically talking about job titles and their tasks that I was paid to complete. Yes, real live dollars could make their way to your pocket in these positions, or at least it worked for me. (I make no promises.) While I have had many different positions, you might notice that they seem to cluster around a few different fields: education, theatre, sales, and marketing. I have also found some of these positions contain overlap between these areas. Here are the titles and a little introduction to these opportunities. Education - As of 2021, I completed my second M.A. in education which does help, however my earliest venture into this field was in 2004.
Theatre - Yes, really and I did not go to L.A. or New York.
Sales - They say everyone is selling something. I will delve into these deeper in future posts. Suffice it to say, things and services were provided and money was paid.
Marketing - These creative positions plant the idea for future sales in a target audience for a particular client.
This is just my experience thus far. I am hoping to share more about this variety of opportunities and one day I hope to add writer to my list. Maybe even blogger??? Day 2 of 30 complete! Time to go wash the babies and relax with a few episodes of Below Deck which contains other fun gigs that maybe I'll try one day... ![]() I wrote my first query letter to a publisher when I was in the fourth grade. For those of you that have not come across this term before, a query letter is a proposal that a writer sends to a publisher to try to sell their work. This could contain a synopsis of their story, a sample chapter, some background on the author, or a variety of other things depending on the type of work. This publisher did not accept my idea for a zoo "abc" book, but they were kind enough to write back and encourage me to keep going. It has been a few years and the idea of being able to write for a living has continued to nag at me and story ideas constantly fill my head, however, I have let the notion that my initial product must be perfect (which is completely ridiculous) hinder me from even attempting to write. One might see the evidence in this in the difference between the date of my first "MultifacetMom" Instagram post, April 18, 2018, and the date of this first post of the blog that I hoped to write, July 2, 2021. What a waste! I have decided that the time is now to conquer the most difficult, dreaded, draining part of being a writer... just starting to write. In this vein, I am drawing inspiration from a talented weaver of tales, who also happens to be a great friend of mine for ...seventeen years! (Wow, when did that happen!?) The fantastic, fiction, fabricator himself, Chris Felts. If you have not had the privilege to be awed by his work, take a moment to check him out on Amazon (Can you say, legit!) https://www.amazon.com/Christopher-Felts/e/B00IW1BK8U?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_4&qid=1625249134&sr=1-4 He is hardworking and dedicated to his craft, but has realized that sometimes publicizing your challenges, such as his popular, "Write Everyday in November", helps to fuel your work and keep you accountable. Chris, be prepared to feel flattered as I mimic your method. Though it is not November, or the first of the year, the first of the month, a Monday, or any day a sane person would traditionally try to start anything, I have decided to begin today (Friday, July 2, 2021) and write a blog post here everyday for 30 days. There are all sorts of theories on how long it takes a habit to form, but I have decided that this will give me a good benchmark for progress. "Who the heck do you think you are and what could you possibly be writing about for a month?"
Great question, self. Thanks for asking. (Yes, I will work on the corny stuff. Can you tell I'm a little nervous?) In this blog, I hope to share my experiences of working in a variety of industries (and the variety is quite various), being a mother, NICU time, traveling, and fighting for that impossible goal of "having it all" that we have all been beaten and brainwashed into thinking we can accomplish. Thank you for starting this journey with me and be sure to follow me on Instagram @multifacetmom ! Day 1: Complete! Now to reward myself with a viewing of Something's Gotta Give while I make my dinner from Hello Fresh (not a sponsor...yet? ;) ). |
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